It's not another post about "whoa is me, and look at me, I still can't run". It's not a question really that I intend to answer. It's a question that has been asked and has been around longer than I've been around. Probably been around a lot longer than anybody reading this post. It's the question of life. What does it mean? What is the secret? Or any other variation of why we are here and what our purpose is.
Now I don't claim to have any answers, but I think often about this subject and there are times that I feel like I can really go deep into my consciousness and pose possible answers. But any answers I come up with are simply my answers. It's hard enough to worry about oneself without worrying about answering life's questions for anybody else. My outlet is writing; among other things. When I write and post on this blog I generally don't give it much thought. It's usually the topic of the day. The subject matter comes at me for wierd reasons. Sometimes the topics fly into my head. Other times the topics are hard to find.
So what is the secret to life? Well, the world according to me is about doing that which makes you happy. It's about doing the right things. It's enjoying moments and soaking in what it is that you are doing. I've written in the past about passion, but I also believe that life is being passionate about what it is that you are doing. When you lose the inner fire for what it is that you're doing or are involved in, then I believe you should consider not doing that thing anymore.
Today I refereed a couple of peewee games. Certainly not the highest level or fastest skating games I've worked among the over 1,500 games I've worked in the 13+ years I've skated. But working those games today reminded me how much I love doing it. For no particular reason. Just one of those days in which I "felt" how much I enjoyed being a part of the game. That's why it's been so difficult to ride the wave of emotions I've felt in the past 4+ months. I feel as though I'm still very passionate about refereeing, but so many things make me believe that it may be time to let it go. Besides realizing how insane people can be, not to mention the stupidity that comes with it, I still feel a little humbled by my injury and realize how quickly that which one loves can be taken away. I've had nothing but positive feedback from people since I returned on January 31. I've been overwhelmed with how people from many different areas have either told me how glad they are to see me, or that they don't want to see me hang 'em up. I've obviously got some thinking to do. The season is winding down and I expect that I'll wrap up this very memorable season very soon, if not this coming Monday. I've gotten so close to getting back to running again and I don't want to lose it again. That's made me tentative on the ice. But today I didn't feel that way. I was just skating and working hard and doing my job. It's been a job I've loved for over a decade. I suppose it is possible to give up something you're still passionate about if there are other reasons.
Life can also be about making difficult decisions.
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