Seething and a New Purpose

It's been ten days now, and I suppose I can get over it. No longer am I sad. The tears were empty long ago. No longer am I pouting. Now I'm downright angry. Angry at myself, angry at the sport. Angry that lesser runners than me ran that race in Philadelphia and qualified because of some arbitrary time limit.

I was riddled with self doubt going into Philadelphia. Every time I've gone to a marathon I've had doubt. But make no mistake. This time, there is no room for failure. I've got a new purpose. Sure, Boston is the goal, but I don't want it to be that close. I want there to be no doubt this time around.

Having already chopped over 45 minutes off my first marathon finish, including over 10 minutes in my last race, I'm gunning for a 3:00 finish. That will leave no doubt regarding Boston.

I've carried that pace (6:52 miles) for a 10k already. Why not? I'm refining my training with a much more focused plan of hill training and speed work. Then I'll choose a pancake flat course and put this to rest once and for all.

Boston, 2009. Mark it down.

Still Painful

My body has nearly completely recovered. With the exception of a chest cold that I am being careful with, my lower extremeties have returned to near 100%. It is always amazing to me how I can barely do steps a day or two after a marathon and equally amazing that I am able to resume normal walking and stairs within a week.

With the "near miss" of a Sunday ago, the physical pain has nearly departed, but the mental pain is still with me. I get the feeling this one will take some time to get rid of completely. The holiday was a nice distraction and I will return to refereeing a full schedule within another week. I'm sure that will help, but the questions are still in my mind. The thoughts are still there and they haunt me.

What if I never get that close again? When will I plateau? Eventually I will slide back on a race time. I cannot continue to set PR's. Inevitably that day will come. Will it be the next race? How do I go into my next race NOT putting undue pressure that is totally expected? And inevitably, when will I race again?

For now, those questions remain unanswered. And they will stay that way. Eventually I'll figure it out. Eventually I'll move on. Right now, the mental pain stays and lingers. Like Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that.....

0:04

Where to even begin with this one. Such a wonderful event that leaves me feeling so empty.

I ran the Philadelphia Marathon on Sunday. The weather was perfect. Forty degree temps. with a light misty rain on and off. A bit windier than I would have liked, but not all that bad. Immediately within the first 4-8 miles I knew I was going to have a shot at a Boston Qualifier. It really hit me when I passed the 16 mile mark in under Boston time. By mile 24, I was preparing for a trip to Boston.

Unfortunately, I didn't really hit the wall, but I was close. My legs got pretty wiped out in the final mile or so. The last 200 yards of this race had me pushing with everything I had in a desperate attempt to come in under my BQ time, including the one minute cushion that the Boston Athletic Association gives you. For me, that meant completing a marathon in 3:15:59 or less.

Rounding the final corner, I pushed as hard as I could and upon crossing the line, my watch showed 3:16:02. A tense seven hours had me wondering if perhaps I clicked my watch a bit early or late at the start or finish line. In my heart I knew I didn't make it, but upon checking the website last evening shortly after 5:30 p.m. I saw what I knew all along. I missed it. By 0:04 seconds.

I will absorb this over the next few days. I know this won't stop me, but it hurts me. I feel like I missed a golden opportunity. I have so many thoughts, but I'm going to feel bad for a few days. I earned that right. Then I'll figure out where I'm going to qualify. Too many cliches, but the one I keep thinking of is, "nothing ventured, nothing gained".

I PR'ed again, but right now that hardly matters.

The Final Stretch

Down to six days until Philadelphia, and of one thing only am I certain. That I will complete the 26.2 mile trek for a fourth time. What I am uncertain of is how quickly (or slowly) I will do it. This has been one of the strangest preparations for a marathon thus far.

As I ran in a light snow for the first time since the break of last winter just the other day, it dawned upon me that my training has been difficult this time. That is perhaps the reason that it seems as though it has taken an eternity to get here. In each of the past three marathons, training seemed to fly by and I was heading to the marathon city "before I knew it".

This time, however, it seems as though I've been training endlessly. The odd part is that this will be the lowest mileage total in preparation thus far (just over 200 miles). It is for that and other reasons (all of my health issues leading up to this one) that I go in with a huge question mark. It is also perhaps the other reason that I go to Philadelphia with next to zero expectations. I am never one to say never, but it is very likely this will not be the Boston qualifier that I set my sights on just over six months ago.

Each race is different, and yes, this is no exception. I almost don't look foward to it. And that tells me that after next Sunday I need a well deserved break no matter what happens.

Doin' the 2 1/2 Splits

The actual heading for this post was either going to be:

• 2 1/2 Weeks? or
• Doin' the Splits

In lieu of either, I combined the two and came up with Doin' the 2 1/2 splits. Now to explain. I couldn't believe it's been 2 1/2 weeks since I posted on my running blog. It's not been due to lack of running. In fact, I've been doing plenty of that. After doing the 14, I was able to do 18 the following Sunday and this past weekend did 20, albeit of the different variety.

I had read about doing longer runs in split fashion. So due to timing issues and wanting to see how it worked out for me, I did exactly that. I ran 10 miles on Sunday morning. I came home, ate lunch, watched my Raiders lose another game and then headed back out for another 10 miler.

What I learned was that doing 20 miles in that fashion is much less of an impact on my joints. I actually had very little residual effects of those miles come Monday morning.

Also, ironically enough, I am in the middle of a 2 1/2 week split right now. I haven't posted in that length of time, and that is how long I have remaining until the Philadelphia Marathon. Am I ready? One never knows. But I will go and will finish. It's just a matter of how long it takes. Here's hoping it doesn't take 2 1/2 weeks.