My body has nearly completely recovered. With the exception of a chest cold that I am being careful with, my lower extremeties have returned to near 100%. It is always amazing to me how I can barely do steps a day or two after a marathon and equally amazing that I am able to resume normal walking and stairs within a week.
With the "near miss" of a Sunday ago, the physical pain has nearly departed, but the mental pain is still with me. I get the feeling this one will take some time to get rid of completely. The holiday was a nice distraction and I will return to refereeing a full schedule within another week. I'm sure that will help, but the questions are still in my mind. The thoughts are still there and they haunt me.
What if I never get that close again? When will I plateau? Eventually I will slide back on a race time. I cannot continue to set PR's. Inevitably that day will come. Will it be the next race? How do I go into my next race NOT putting undue pressure that is totally expected? And inevitably, when will I race again?
For now, those questions remain unanswered. And they will stay that way. Eventually I'll figure it out. Eventually I'll move on. Right now, the mental pain stays and lingers. Like Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that.....
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