A Good Rebound

I went to Pittsburgh this morning to run in the Komen Race for the Cure 5k. Even though I have been mostly disappointed in my racing lately I felt as though I was ready to improve upon previous outings and wanted to push myself in this race. It is a challenging course with nearly 2 miles of hills from the start in the Schenley Park area of Pittsburgh with a downhill finish.

I did struggle early on but as the race progressed I was able to push aside the urge to slow down and fought through the negative thoughts and by the time I raced across the finish line in 21:16 I felt as though I really rebouned from mostly disappointing performances.

The actual finish time itself is not all that impressive as a whole. After all I've broken 20:00 fourteen times and this time was only good for 34th place all time on my 5k race list (out of 53 races), but it is a very challenging course. In addition I have become more interested in seeing how I fared compared to the field and within my age group.

When I look at the overall race, I finished 72nd out of 2,211 participants. That is in the top 3.3% of all finishers. When I look at the 40-49 age group I finished 6th out of 175 participants. That is within the top 3.4% of finishers in my age group.

I cannot be anything but pleased with today's performance and my plan is to build upon it as I now enter the summer racing season.

Right Back Where I Started From

It's been five days since I ran the fabled course in Boston, Massachusetts and I've even started exercising again. Yesterday I ran a slow recovery 3 miles (legs were still sore) and today I got back at my lifting routine.

Although I have spent pretty much all of the past five days reflecting on the experience that was Boston I must admit to having mixed feelings. On one hand I am very satisfied and happy to have etched my name into the history of the Boston Marathon. I am content with the effort I put forth toward the race. I wasn't so happy with my training; which I've discussed in this very blog, which came back to haunt me just past 21 miles. Which brings me to the feeling of contentment I have with those first 21 miles. After reviewing the race and my time splits and hashing over how I ran this race I cannot be more happy that I was able to hold the pace I did for so long. The fact that I was running on a 3:30 pace through 21 miles is nothing short of astonishing considering the amount of treadmill running I did this past winter. And yet I still feel far short of any of my expectations. I had set a 3:30 goal in my mind with a secondary goal of no more than 3:39:59 for obvious reasons. But I didn't reach either of those. No, not even close.

Posting a 3:52:42 (and I hesitated to even bold that) was and is a huge disappointment. It stands as my second slowest time in a marathon (besides my very first one). It was 7:00 slower than Frederick (which was awful). It was 19:00 slower than Johnstown (which was awful past mile 18), and 23:00 slower than Pittsburgh (which was challenging to say the least).

And so I am left to wonder what might have been. Satisfied and yet vastly dissatisfied. I've reached my goal of getting to Boston. I reached my goal of finishing Boston. But like so many races before, I am not happy with the complete picture. Before heading north last Saturday my mind was set to finish this off and then maybe step away from marathoning for awhile. Run shorter races. Run but not on such a regimented schedule. Now, I feel like I'm still unfulfilled. The question I keep asking myself is what would make me happy? How can I make this go away? The answer is actually a simple one. Although the solution is hard. Much harder than it was a year ago. I feel like I must get myself back there and simply train for it and run it better. Go and get that 3:30. But in order to do that, I need to run a sub-3:15. Something I have not yet done.

In a lot of ways I feel as though I'm right back to where I started from...

Speaks for Itself....I'm honored.

http://www.wjactv.com/videos/sports/johnstown-runner-sets-sights-on-boston-marathon/vDSBg/

Three Unique Runs

March, 2011 certainly went out like a lion, but April didn't come in like a lamb. And now with just a smidge over 14 days left before I run in the 115th edition of the Boston Marathon I am left to wonder if I've done enough. As I mentioned in my previous post, there isn't a whole lot I'm going to be able to do about it now if I haven't but still I wonder. And then, I have days like I've had on each of my last three runs. It's days like those when I am reminded that although it's all about the training and the running and the preparation, it's NOT about any of those things. (Run #1 Wednesday, March 30, 2011) All of my runs used to be in the early mornings when the world was waking up around me. When the dark moved toward the light. There is a peace about running in the morning and there is no better way to get a day off to its start than with the early morning run. Lately, as it has been well-documented, I have struggled to drag myself out of bed. So more often than I'd like to admit or give into, I have run after work or in the evenings. This day was no different. I slept in with the intention of running after work. The cold winter that we have just endured has somehow continued into the month of March and doesn't appear to be subsiding as April quickly approaches. With morning temperatures near record lows part of my reason to run later is to run in warmer temperatures. Sounds like a plan but sometimes it doesn't quite work out, like today. The snow started to fall lightly on my drive home from work and steadily intensified as I got closer to home. By the time I reached the house, it was beginning to lay on the roads. I thought briefly about hitting the treadmill but there was something about the look and feel of this late season snow. I've often felt that the first few snows of the year and the last few snows of the year make for the prettiest snows of the year. On this day, that would be confirmed as I went out for my 5-miler. As the snow fluctuated in intensity and alternated on occasion between a fine light snow and a crispy sleet I pounded on the roads with a focus and an energy I have shown far too little these past few months. The high occasional wind made it seem miserable but when the wind would subside the real beauty of this run was exposed. A few weeks ago we saw a few days of temperatures in the 60's and lots of people were out and about, raking their lawns, walking their dogs or preparing for what seemed to be an inevitable spring warmup. But mother nature threw a curveball at us all and as a result for a late March day as the grey skies hovered over us and mixed and alternating precipitation fell upon us it felt more like an early morning winter run. But there were discernable differences. Robins chirped and scurried on the ground searching for late afternoon meals. On the main roads traffic was moving about at a normal rate. But as I approached the final mile of my run in the residential area that I live it was noticeable to me that activity was at a minimum and I seemed to plod along all by myself. As I ran the final hundred yards back to my house the night sky was beginning to engulf the horizon and the only sounds I heard were the steady footfalls in front of me, the cadence of my breathing and the crackling of the tiny ice pellets of snow that attacked the material of my running jacket. As I came to a stop and stood behind my house I looked around and heard the unbridled beauty of nature that surrounded me. I stood in amazement as it fell deeper into darkness and I hastily grabbed my camera phone to capture the moment. Although you cannot hear it, you can see it in the photo above. What I find to be so mesmerizing about this picture is how it captures the feeling that I had of not being able to tell whether it was morning with the darkness fading or late afternoon with the darkness forthcoming. Within 10 minutes of that photo being taken, it was clear which side of the clock we were on. But for that small window of time I could have fooled myself into thinking it was early morning. (Run #2 Friday, April 1, 2011) Similar set of circumstances as run #1 but oh, so different. I drove home from work in bountiful sunshine and looked forward to a run in the sun. Despite temperatures in the upper 30's I find it to be equally important to run with a sunsoaked sky every now and then. It's good for the mind. I arrived at home and wasted no time getting back out on the run, also a 5-miler. Shortly after I departed I noticed cloudy skies were beginning to descend upon us and although the forecast called for possibly rain showers with the chance for more snow I figured it was coming later on in the evening. But halfway through my run light snow began to fall and as I got through 3 miles it began falling harder. Shortly after I hit the 4-mile mark I noticed that the clouds were beginning to break up a bit and even though some blue skies were visible the snow continued to fall. Then as I turned the corner and headed for home (about a 1/2 mile to go), the sun came out. However, the snow continued to fall. Not only did it continue to fall, it intensified. It intensified so quickly and came down so harshly I recall thinking that if it continued it would fall at about an inch an hour rate. It felt like a middle of the winter snowstorm snow. As I stared at this wall of snow falling through a bright sunshine I remarked outloud....."that.....is......awesome". And I immediately thought how lucky I was to see it. It lasted only about 30 seconds and then it was gone. As I climbed the hill back to my house it was sunny just like it was when I left. In that 38-39 minutes it went from total sunshine to a snowstorm back to total sunshine. One of the more unique runs I've been on in a long long time. I wish I had a picture of it to post, but I don't have one. It lives in my mind. (Run #3 Sunday, April 3, 2011) Call it a bad habit. I didn't even run in the morning today. And although you could call it excuse making, I had good reason(s). Yesterday afternoon I experienced very slight pain in the quadriceps that gave me so many problems last fall. It was vague discomfort and it gave me pause waking this morning. Since I also had plans to attend an open house I decided to wait until the afternoon again to run. More specifically I decided to run after watching the Pirates game that was on at 2:00 p.m. Despite planning on doing a 10-12 miler I convinced myself that perhaps half of that was more appropriate since not doing a few miles wouldn't really hurt me at this point. After all, with two weeks to go, I'm either ready or I'm not. So I decided to play it safe and bargained myself into doing a 6-miler. Further, since today was supposed to be long-slow run day I planned on doing an 8:00 minute pace. Originally I set my watch to 48:00 and was just going to run and time it right but decided to run my usual route so I knew how my pacing was going. After hitting the 1-mile mark at 7:57 I knew I was off to a good start. It felt comfortable and easy. At mile-2 I was so relaxed I forgot to hit my watch and when I crossed mile-3 at 23:56 I felt good about my pacing ability. It still felt effortless and I concentrated on my quads and knees to make sure I wasn't doing further damage. At mile-4 I clicked my split at 31:59 and when I crossed the 5- mile mark at 39:59 I remember thinking how perfect I was making this run. Literally running at even splits. When I got back to where I started at the house and hit my watch button I looked in amazement at the face of my watch reading 48:00. Even though it's not my normal marathon pace or one I want to run, I can't help but wonder if today was the perfect run? Who knows? But it was a perfect way to wrap up the week after two unique runs in a row. Today was the hat trick and the better news is that my knee responded well. I'm down to 14 days and 7 runs remaining before toeing the line in Hopkinton. I can only hope that the memories of the past few days will help me keep things in perspective as I run into difficulty on April 18. At the very least I've got three unique runs in a row at a time when I really needed it.

Still Looking for ME

Helluva time to pick to go disappearing. Try the entire winter and spring (so far) prior to the 2011 Boston Marathon. I went out for my 10-mile run today after work. One of my final two double-digit runs prior to the big day and like always, I did a lot of thinking on that run. I thought of lots of things but two themes stand out to me.

First, I kept thinking about what's wrong with me. Where am I? Which leads me to the second thought. And invariably the two are tied together. This is the biggest sporting event I've participated in in my entire life (debatable, but I don't think I've been involved in any bigger. The sheer history of the Boston Marathon and the fact that one must qualify to get into it leaves me thinking that yes, it is THE BIGGEST event of my life.) Where am I? Why can't I run fast like I did just a year ago at this time? Am I burnt out? Did the broken foot and then the tendinitis last year finally catch up to me? Is it the bad winter? (<-- frankly, this one is an excuse). Is my commitment level not where it should be? Did I spend too much time on the treadmill this past winter? Did the fact that I worked only half my normal complement of hockey games affect my cross-training? (<-- catch/22 of this is that I purposedly backed off so as to not get injured and cost myself Boston). Do others who qualify for this race experience the same kind of "drop off" I have?

With three weeks to go, obviously I have lots of questions. And I think the answer is it's all those things and more. I'm trying to stay positive about it and take positive energy with me to Boston but the fact is I feel less prepared for this marathon than any preceding it. The only thought that keeps me going is that I felt similar before I went to Philadelphia four years ago. I went there with next to no expectations and I missed qualifying for Boston by 4 seconds.

With three weeks to go there isn't a whole lot I'm going to be able to do about it at this point, so I try to keep my mind off of it. But it's hard to do that when you're out on the roads with nothing but your iPod and your mind. The thoughts dart in without thinking of them. The reality stares me down and although I'm concerned I just keep searching. One additional thought pops into my head and it gives me some solace. I won't stop searching for ME. Perhaps I'll find him in Boston?

A Final Tune-Up

Although next Saturday would have been a better race in Meyersdale (Maple Festival 5-miler), I decided to run the Pennsylvania Highlands Sprint to Success 5k today as my final tune-up race before Boston. Despite running a 21:28 (unofficial), a time that most of my friends and loved ones say is very good, I find myself disappointed and struggling to understand why I am not as fast as I was just a year ago.

My weight has been fairly consistent and the only explanation I can come up with is that I spent more than my fair amount of time on the treadmill this past winter. I became much less of a die-hard going outside when the weather turned bad and the weather was bad more often than it wasn't this past winter.

After struggling with quadriceps tendinitis last fall and not racing as much I guess that not actually racing is a secondary reason why my speed isn't there. With just over three weeks remaining before my bid day there isn't much I can do about it at this point. I must focus my energies on Boston and running my best possible time there. However, I think that it is important for me to make sure that I enjoy the moment there and take it all in. Even if that means I have to stop on occasion to enjoy the revelry of the race and not worry so much about time. That will be fairly difficult for me to do but perhaps my lack of speed right now will have me balanced enough to realize that speed is not of the essence. At least not right now.

Above is my race shirt and 2nd place medal in the 40-49 age group (my friend Paul Straka took first. Despite my snails pace, I still managed to finish 5th overall. Perhaps that is why people think I'm crazy for being disappointed.

7159...

No, it's not some weirdo hidden code to explain the Mayan calendar or the impending end of the earth and life as we know it. Today is kind of a landmark day in that I logged into my profile for the Boston Marathon and I have been assigned Bib # 7159. This continues a string of odd bib numbers for every marathon except for my first (Cleveland; Bib #376). Every marathon since has been an odd number which is good luck. Hey, I'll take what I can get.

The other significance of my bib is that I will be taking off from the start with runners in the First Wave. This year Boston will be using a Three Wave Start format with approximately 9,000 people starting in each wave. Obviously, it's somewhat advantageous to start out front as I found out in Chicago.

I'm getting pretty excited about this thing. As I should. I've got a 20-miler to get through this Saturday and then it's taper-time. If I can string together another good week this week I think I'll be well on my way to respectability. Which is a long hnaul from where I thought I'd be 3 months ago. Two months ago. Hell, even a month ago...

The Final Push

Yesterday I did my 18-miler and passed the test with somewhat flying colors. It was yet another example of how I am totally affected by weather. The temperature hovered just below and just above 40 degrees and with the sun shining brightly it was an enjoyable experience for the most part. I did want to stop around mile 16 but pushed through my negative thoughts and completed the run and felt good about it when it was over. I could only keep thinking how miserable I might have been if it had been raining or snowing or much colder. Anyway, next weekend will be my 20-miler and then the four week taper. I'm "cramming" for the Boston Marathon. Not what I had hoped to do but it is where I am at the moment.

Even though I love Wedding Crashers because I think it is one of the funnier films of all-time I can't help but recall the line from Senator Cleary (Christopher Walken) to his daughter Claire Cleary (Rachel McAdams) that seems to fit right now:

"We have no way of knowing what lays ahead for us in the future. All we can do is use the information at hand to make the best decision possible."

Terrible Struggles

Not sure why but in addition to not being very active at keeping my blog alive (it is on life support), I have struggled with my training. A glimmer of hope exists as my last two training runs have been the best two training runs I've had in months.

In addition to my running, I've struggled in other areas of life as well. Not coincidentally my attitude has been as bad as it has in years. I haven't felt like myself and as my running struggles began everything else fell with it. Here's hoping that things turn around. I'm fighting the fight but it's been difficult.

It's one thing to struggle with exercise but yet another at life. And when you're not happy you're not happy. Running has always been my great equalizer but lately it hasn't helped as much. I suppose it may be one of those "chicken and egg" deals. Which caused which? I can't say for sure.

Some other random thoughts to ponder:

Why is it that people are always looking for someone else, be it an individual or an organization, to solve their problems? Why is it that the blame always seems to be placed in the direction of someone else? Why is it that people can’t take responsibility for themselves, their problems and their actions? Our society has somehow lost its mirror. There is far too much finger-pointing, lack of respect and playing the blame game. There is not enough inward reflection or accepting of responsibility. We have also become a society of enablers. It’s a shame but we are losing the battle. And there aren’t enough of us willing to take on this fight. Our scruples have gone by the wayside and along with it our conscience and our souls. I fear for our future.

Awful...

I have no idea where the time has gone, but I guess 'awful' is the way to describe my lack of commitment to my own blog. I need to get myself back on track. I'll start with an ode and farewell to 2010; an overall very good year and a look at the upcoming year of 2011 (even though we are already 9 days in). I'll do that later today. If anyone is still reading; that's a promise. If nobody is still reading, then it's a promise to myself.

Happy New Year and a better blogging year to come....