Obsession....Good or Bad?

She is a grand lady. I'm not sure where I heard that before, but I'm nearly certain it was from an old black and white film. Perhaps a phrase carried over from the 30's or 40's. But I digress.

As I went out on my run early this morning, it was a lot more of the same. Like another favorite quote of mine from Shawshank Redemption, "...it's all about routine, and then more routine..." Of course, I'm not talking about prison life. I'm talking about my running regimen. Even though I'm on the threshold of running a pair of marathons six weeks apart in October and November, I am hitting that point in training where the routine is beginning to wear at me a bit. My body is taking a bit of a beating as well, but I'll save the injury talk for another post. No, this is about that routine.

We're entering the time of year when the darkness hangs on just a little longer. When I exit the side door and head out the alley, it is barely light out. In another week or so, the darkness will hang on and I'll be reminded of another of my favorite movie quotes from Scent of a Woman. As I head down that dark alley, I invariably will remark, "I'm in the dark here". An Al Pacino favorite. But once again, I digress.

The skies are an incredible haze of purples, pinks and blues this time of year. Although I don't particularly like to run in the dark, I don't totally mind it. Inevitably it gets light out and I am there to see the world waking up. It's an amazing experience that is the basis for my writing. Perhaps someday I'll post that first "writing about running" experience here. A final time, I digress.

My thoughts on my run today leaned toward obsession. Recently I have been overcome by this obsession. And I wondered within, can that be good? Typically, the word obsession gives a negative connotation. But I wondered, can any obsession be good or is that not possible? I really don't know. And it's that unawareness that makes me wonder if it's bad.

She is always there. Haunting my every thought. I cannot get her out of my head. I think about how long I have obsessed about her and how close I have come to her. At one time I thought she was out of my league. But recently my confidence has grown. I want nothing more than to experience her and all she has to offer. Sometimes I wonder if it's a phase that I'm going through and the luster will wear off. After all, I've had these types of obsessions before. Not all of them have lasted. Yet this does seem different. Nothing like the others. The feelings and passion I have for her are far too strong. I want to believe that if it ever happens I won't be disappointed. So you see my dilemma? As I penned this post I wondered if you would read this and think to yourself, 'this guy is sick and twisted'. I don't think so. I believe some obsessions can be good. Some can be great. And some, like her.....can be simply grand! No, this is a good obsession. It's what gets me out that door every morning. After all, I'm probably not the first to obsess for her; the Boston Marathon.