Where Has Respect Gone?

I know this is supposed to be a running blog, and I'm nearly certain that I'm not getting regular visitors to this site. That is o.k., because this was never meant to be a forum other than me building a historical view at my running and something to look back on from time to time to see how perspectives have changed. Not to mention something else to do to help motivate me toward my ultimate goal of running the Boston Marathon.

I'm going to go a little off topic today, but not far. As I've mentioned on this blog before I officiate ice hockey. I've been doing it since 1996. I got involved because I love the game. I wanted to be around the game. As an athlete I played many sports and have been able to accel at most of them. Not great mind you. In some cases pretty good. Good enough at baseball and football to be honored as an all-star and win a few championships, etc.

By the time I got involved in ice hockey I was 25 years old and my "time" had all but passed. Like a lot of folks in our area I got into hockey as an adult and never really played until I was 25. I taught myself to skate. I always loved the game and have been an avid follower of the sport since I was 8 or 9. Officiating seemed like a good place to get involved. I started slowly, but learned a lot in those first few years. I was quickly doing higher level games and relied on my skating ability to get me by until I learned the intricacies of refereeing the sport. Make no mistake, it is probably one of the toughest sports to officiate because of all the little nuances and the 'unwritten' rules of the game.

In those 12+ years I have seen a lot with the sport of ice hockey. I have seen the game improved and I have done countless high level games that I could only have dreamed of doing, including state and national championships at the high school and amateur levels. I have worked over 1,400 hockey games from mites and squirts through the professional level. Bottom line: I've been around the game. I feel I've earned a level of respect that comes with that history and experience.

What I have also seen over the years is a decreasing level of respect, or in most cases, lack of respect from coaches, fans and worse yet; the players. As cliched as it may sound, when I was in my teenage years I would have never spoken to referees, umpires or officials of any kind in the manner that these kids speak to us these days. I don't even recall teammates of mine doing this. We lived in an era that was much different. Our fathers would have kicked the shit out of us if we acted in the manner these kids do today. It's really ashame to lump all kids into that type of basket because it is only a small faction and it gives all kids a bad name. But it is true.

In the past two years I have decided to simply enforce the rules of the game and attempted to regain a level of respect amongst these players. Speak with a tainted tongue, and you go to the box. Plain and simple. Problem is, kids today are empowered by the parents. Nobody seems to want to take responsibility for their own actions. Certainly I am not perfect and have done and said things I may not be proud of, but I always take responsibility and admit when I am wrong. Officiating is humbling because you cannot take away the human element. We will all make mistakes, bad judgments and errors. By admitting that it makes us better officials because we are aware and do all that we can to limit those mistakes.

It just seems to me that the respect factor has gotten much worse and I wonder if the game has gotten beyond where I am with it. I still love the sport. I enjoy being on the ice and part of the games. Especially the higher level games with high skill. There is truly nothing like it when the game is played at its purest level. But all the garbage has scarred me. It is becoming a battle that is grinding at me like a stone weathered over centuries of sitting in the elements. Eventually that stone becomes brittle. For now I stay involved because the balance still sways in favor of my love for the game. But that seesaw is tipping, and eventually I will walk away. But I will walk away on my own terms. I can still keep up with the play. I have a thorough knowledge of the rules and I still have a burning desire to be the best at what I do.

I've seen so many people come and go over the years and I take comfort in that fact. With so many changes and new people coming up through the ranks and involved with the sport there is hope. But there is also a new learning curve. Perhaps that is what is most frustrating. Who knows.