Amazing Business

Despite all common sense telling me to do otherwise, I awoke this morning and decided to go run a 5k. The Wings of Hope 5k race was taking place about 2 1/2 miles from my house. Since road races that close don't come up that often and because the weather was nice and because I figured the course would be flat, and because I ran 3 miles in training on Thursday morning I figured I'd ignore common sense.

I planned on holding myself back so I didn't aggravate an "achy" knee (hey, achy is a step up). But lo and behold there I sat amongst a group of four runners near the 1-mile mark. I even led for a few seconds. By the time we hit the turnaround I was still sitting in 3rd place. How could I not push it?

In the final mile, my lack of training caught up with me and I became winded and slowed. I was passed but finished as strong as I could coming in 4th place overall. Amazing as it was to me approaching the finish line I saw that I was going to PR (personal record) for the second time in less than a year at the 5k distance. This, after going 4 years trying to beat my previous best.

I wonder if the course was short since I shattered my previous best by a whopping 0:19. I wonder if all the rest I've had helped keep me strong enough throughout to make it possible. I won't question it. I've added it to the wall of PR's on this site and my log book. I am happy. Seeing where I came from just 2 months ago I have no choice but to celebrate it.

19:30 finish time! Today, I'm in the amazing business.

Good 'Ol ART

Finally decided to go see my chiropractor tonight for some ART Therapy (Active Release Therapy). He has never NOT been able to fix any ailment I've gone to him with. I am encouraged because he feels that my knee issues can be taken care of quickly and that it's most likely from my favoring my foot (go figure).

So tomorrow morning I am back at it. I ran Sunday, but it was the only day I've run in the past two weeks after going several weeks without missing a day. I'm still pretty sure I shouldn't do the half-marathon next Sunday, but I haven't decided yet.

My entire focus right now needs to be on getting ready for Chicago and that's how I'm proceeding. I'm also nearing a decision on whether or not to return to officiating in the fall, but I'm holding off for a little while yet before making it an official (oh, yea, pun intended) decision. I want to make sure I'm not reacting.

For now, the return to normal continues. I can't help but think that the last time I truly felt good was in October. But tomorrow is another day and another opportunity for me to work my way back. The long and winding road.....

Age? Background?

I haven't decided yet if I like this new background or not. I do like changing things up, but I have to give it a little more time to decide if this is the background I'm choosing for the next several months. Any readers' thoughts are greatly appreciated.

In November I'll turn 39. In the last year or so I have had a number of people tell me that I'm not getting younger (or some variation of that). And so lately as I continue to struggle with my bum knee and trying to get back to some kind of rhythm I wonder at what point can you truly say that you are getting older? I suppose some of the other things that people say can be equally true. Things like, "you're only as old as you feel" and "age is just a number", but now more than ever I wonder if 40 is that magic number that so many have told me about. Even though I'm still a year and a half away I am going through some changes that I know have affected my ability to overcome injuries (even slight ones) quickly; like I used to.

I still look back and know that my foot break was a very serious issue and I'm now dealing with the "comeback" issues that I knew would come along with it. My knee has reached a new level of frustration as I have yet to try and get back to some light running. I thought that day might be tomorrow. I'm tempted to do it today. With 15 days until the Pittsburgh Half-Marathon I'm realizing that I probably should take the high road and back out altogether. Will I? Stay tuned...

Opening Day

As has been our tradition for the past nine years, Becky and I went to PNC Park today for the Pirates home opener. As I continue to recover from runner's knee I've taken to walking on the lighter surface of the treadmill and this morning was no different.

As we walked across the Clemente Bridge today and saw the banner draped over the bridge with the Pittsburgh Marathon on it, I questioned how stupid it will be for me to attempt to run a half-marathon in just under three weeks. I know I shouldn't, but something tells me that I can hold myself back from running it competitively and simply move myself over the 13.1 miles at an easy and relaxing pace. I question deep within whether or not I can do that. I always have the best of intentions, but my competitive fires burn very hot.

Part of me feels like the best thing to do would be to simply back out altogether. But part of me wants to experience Pittsburgh so badly. I waited for years for the marathon to come back. It kills me that I can't do the full marathon this year, and I at least want to do the half. Having only run just over 24 miles this year so far, the wise thing to do would be to back out. I have no idea when I might try running again; although this Thursday is my plan. The knee is feeling better but there is still some pain in there going down steps. I can squat a little further which is a good gauge. My issue is time. But then again....I'm a runner. Time is always an issue for me.

Surprised? No.

After struggling through what might have been the longest winter of my life waiting for a broken foot to heal, I was waiting for the time when I could get back to "normal" activity. For me, that meant getting back on the ice to officiate hockey and back on the roads running.

Slowly but surely nature took its course. My foot improved enough for me to begin skating on the final day of January and over the next two months I was able to gradually put the pain behind me and build up to running again. Slow and short at first, but then back outside in the elements and faster and longer.

But like the rest of this dark period that has now stretched on into a sixth month, it has become anything but easy. I suppose I should have expected it. A case of runner's knee has left me waiting once again for the healing to take place. This won't take months for sure, but the fact that my foot is 100% and I was beginning to get back into a nice rhythm has me frustrated once again. Only this time, using the stationary bike is not an option. So I wait; again. Am I surprised? No. Not at all. I can only hope that a week of rest will knock it out and I can finally get myself on a path of building instead of recovering. I've had enough of the latter to last me a lifetime.

Words I Used at Work This Week

In no particular order and with no particular attachments (to protect the innocent)....

Hilarious, ridiculous, dumb, stupid, funny, vindictive, nice, terminated, unbelievable, snobby, nasty, tired, flabbergasted, primed, fortunate, laughable, fatigued, dumbfounded, frank, forward, staple, paper, email, virus, sick day, pencil, tissue, crying, flippant, snoring, stylish, strict, retirement, stinks, prank, salary, files, call, voicemail, cellphone, protection, stock market, employee, people, painted, rent, check, car, radio, coffee, water, filter, desk, chair, meeting, forum, time, tripped, hurt, flat, tank, rug, back, arm, safety, mug, past, future, present, ignorant, vegetable, blood, cranky, lunch, dinner, class, harassment, innuendo, party, political, judgment, courthouse, parking space, health, wellness, television, speak, talk, quickly, life.

I'm sure there were 1,000's more I used at one point or another but this is all I can remember. What a week.

Better Than I Could Have Imagined

Today was a day that I questioned was even possible just a few weeks ago. Today I ran a 5k race (Pennsylvania Highlands Community College Sprint to Success) for the first time since October 25. It was the first time since November 5 that I ran a distance that long. It was the first time I've run longer than 2 miles since returning to running in January. I knew when I departed the house this morning that it might not have been the smartest idea, and yet I went anyway.

I went with intentions of "going slow" and taking it easy. The last thing I want to do is injure myself or take a step backward. But shortly after the starting gun I headed out on the course and felt good. Since it was a loop course I had several opportunities to drop out if I decided to.

As I got closer to the halfway mark and then into the second half of the race I knew I was feeling pretty good. I had very few issues with my wind and despite some rubbery feeling in my legs I pushed on. When it became clear that I would have a good time I was feeling good about my decision to run today.

Crossing the finish line in 21:44 was better than I could have imagined. I expect to deal with some possible pain and discomfort come tomorrow or Monday, but I think I've cleared one of my hurdles on this long road to recovery. Still, there is work to do, but for today I will enjoy this.

Holy Shit!

First day of running outdoors "for real" since my stupid attempt to do so on January 1. Despite my sense that by writing about my recovery and attempts at running is also somehow connected to my backslides (because I'm superstitious), I decided to write about today since it's ridiculous to think the two are connected.

Truth be told I've been running for three weeks. I started by doing 1/4 miles the first week, then 1/2 miles for the second week. I did 3/4 mile earlier this week and then upped to 1 mile on Thursday. Today was not only the second 1-miler this week, but it was also my first time outside in nearly two months.

What a shocker! Unlike the security and sponginess of the treadmill; not to mention the flatness, outdoors has changed so much. I realized that the cement is quite a bit different. I realized just how hilly my training grounds really are. It was a simple half-mile out and back, but it was probably my most challenging run since my most memorable race last October 25, 2008. It was the last day I really truly ran pain-free and without trepidation. I wouldn't call today being totally back. Despite my growing confidence I realized that my legs and my wind are both far from getting back.

In reality and truth, my mountain is just beginning. After five months, I am still standing at the base of a very steep mountain with lots of work to do. I must be careful and calculated, but I also know that the road will be long, tough and mentally tougher than the first time I took this path. Really? Yes. This time I know what to expect. Last time it was all new to me. Perhaps it is insanity to go through with this knowing what is expected, but then again I've been here before. It was the second time I toed the line at a marathon in Baltimore. I'm feeling up for the challenge and know it won't be easy. I've forked off into the known and after going through this past winter, I'm excited to take on this challenge. I expect to face some difficulties, but that's all part of this insanity.

So what's with the title of this post? Sometimes I struggle with what to titles posts. Other times it comes easy. This one was easy. I repeated it about a thousand times during today's 8 or 9 minute mile. Let the game begin.

A Post For Posting

Not much to report at this point. Foot is still in improvement mode, and although I'm getting more active and used to being on my feet all day, I'm clearly still not 100%.

Running? Yes, a little. More like light jogging and not for much in terms of mileage. I feel as close as I've been in a long time. It's been a horrible winter and as the weather is improving, my spirits, my foot and my hope for the near future improves with it.

The Age Old Question

It's not another post about "whoa is me, and look at me, I still can't run". It's not a question really that I intend to answer. It's a question that has been asked and has been around longer than I've been around. Probably been around a lot longer than anybody reading this post. It's the question of life. What does it mean? What is the secret? Or any other variation of why we are here and what our purpose is.

Now I don't claim to have any answers, but I think often about this subject and there are times that I feel like I can really go deep into my consciousness and pose possible answers. But any answers I come up with are simply my answers. It's hard enough to worry about oneself without worrying about answering life's questions for anybody else. My outlet is writing; among other things. When I write and post on this blog I generally don't give it much thought. It's usually the topic of the day. The subject matter comes at me for wierd reasons. Sometimes the topics fly into my head. Other times the topics are hard to find.

So what is the secret to life? Well, the world according to me is about doing that which makes you happy. It's about doing the right things. It's enjoying moments and soaking in what it is that you are doing. I've written in the past about passion, but I also believe that life is being passionate about what it is that you are doing. When you lose the inner fire for what it is that you're doing or are involved in, then I believe you should consider not doing that thing anymore.

Today I refereed a couple of peewee games. Certainly not the highest level or fastest skating games I've worked among the over 1,500 games I've worked in the 13+ years I've skated. But working those games today reminded me how much I love doing it. For no particular reason. Just one of those days in which I "felt" how much I enjoyed being a part of the game. That's why it's been so difficult to ride the wave of emotions I've felt in the past 4+ months. I feel as though I'm still very passionate about refereeing, but so many things make me believe that it may be time to let it go. Besides realizing how insane people can be, not to mention the stupidity that comes with it, I still feel a little humbled by my injury and realize how quickly that which one loves can be taken away. I've had nothing but positive feedback from people since I returned on January 31. I've been overwhelmed with how people from many different areas have either told me how glad they are to see me, or that they don't want to see me hang 'em up. I've obviously got some thinking to do. The season is winding down and I expect that I'll wrap up this very memorable season very soon, if not this coming Monday. I've gotten so close to getting back to running again and I don't want to lose it again. That's made me tentative on the ice. But today I didn't feel that way. I was just skating and working hard and doing my job. It's been a job I've loved for over a decade. I suppose it is possible to give up something you're still passionate about if there are other reasons.

Life can also be about making difficult decisions.